It Is Still Not Too Late. Speak Up!

Volume 15, Issue 1  | 
Published 10/07/2018

By Wanjeri

#AmKenyan Today I had an official meeting with a known sex pest. I made sure I wore the longest, baggiest, 'granny' looking outfit in my wardrobe in case something happened and people asked me 'WHAT WERE YOU WEARING?'

Isn't it sad that as women, we leave our homes very conscious of the fact that we are potential rape victims whether we wear sacks or metal pants?

During the meeting, I still felt naked.
Though 'safely' covered, the conversation was at times deviating to something about my appearance.
From how my African dress made my neck look long, to how he noticed when I walked in, my shoes were yellow, like parts of my dress. Sigh!

I spent the entire day feeling like I was in church or joining a CONVENT because I had a NEED to protect myself (Just so you know, I like my work dresses above the knees with stockings!).

Perverts will always be perverts.
It is not about what we wear, it is about the need for the pervert to feed his power needs.

Since his minions are on my wall, I hope they show him this post and some form of 'shame' hits him, which I highly doubt, it will.

From the day a girl is born, she is taught how to be 'decent'.  How to dress in a way that would not attract men. How to keep her knees together. How her clothes should always be below the knees and her breasts fully covered.

These 'lessons' made some of us grow up conscious of our bodies. My breasts especially, were a constant source of distress.
Small bodied, big breasted was definitely not the 'good' girl body a teenager would wish for. Covering my upper body became an art form. Spaghetti tops were a must wear every day, to date!

 I have never come across an instance where growing boys were taught to keep their hands to themselves.
How to respect women sexually.
That a ‘NO’ from a woman means ‘NO!’
That a woman is not a sexual object that can be taken any time or slapped on her behind, when she walks by! (An old geezer in the media world once put his old wrinkled hand inside my bra. I knew right then, I will not be a sex slave for a TV spot. That was the end of my media career!)

The attitude witnessed from a section of society when women went public about alleged rape and sexual abuse at Kenyatta hospital during the #EndKNHRot campaign, tells of a society that treats sexual abuse reports as tales from women seeking attention or worse still, being malicious/seeking revenge.

Girls are raised to be nice and shy. The misconception that boys are macho and aggressive is propagated at an early age.
Such hogwash!!! 

Women are sexual beings. Full of passion and feeling. Every part of our body understands what we want. Our sexual needs are unique and diverse. Sex to many of us is beyond a physical encounter. It is an expression of love.
We DESERVE, at the very LEAST, to control who touches us and when.

Contrary to what many cultures teach children, women are not tools that spread their legs for seeds to be planted in us for procreation, we treasure and crave for sex just as men do.

All these years that men have treated rape as a female issue have finally come to haunt them. Today, the number of men being raped has risen sharply.

Every other car-jacking incident produces a new male rape victim. Every day, our boys are raped in high schools by older boys. Young boys are sexually abused in their homes by people close to them. Young men are going out and waking up drugged and gang raped.

You have always been silent, you are now the perfect victims for rapists. After an attack, you still choose to remain silent. Which man would want the world to know, they were made to 'bend over'???

This week alone, I have received 2 cases of male rape. 2 minors. A few weeks back, a young man was gang raped after being drugged at a club in Westlands.

I occasionally receive a phone call from a man in his 40's when he wants to cry. He was gang raped in a car-jacking incident 2 years ago and he now has to wear diapers as he cannot stop his poop from leaking.
He no longer works, is clinically depressed and has attempted suicide twice. His wife left and he now lives with his younger sister. A sister he literally raised.

I always ask myself, if men had been at the forefront of fighting sexual abuse from way before, would we be where we are today? No we wouldn't!!!

It is still not too late. Speak up!


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